"My husband and I share very much in the kids' schedule and everything, but somehow, I'm always the conductor," von [Bredow-Gardner] said. "He's there if I need him, but I have to pull the strings. If he does the laundry, he'll come downstairs, stick his chest out and say, `I just did the laundry,' like it's my job and he's done me a big favor."

While none of the women considered themselves high-powered careerists, several said they had sacrificed job aspirations to raise their families. Ferguson once wanted to be a veterinarian, [Robin Dulli] an actress, von Bredow-Gardner a doctor. All have children age 12 and younger, and all are now working, five full time, four part time, three of them at home. No one said she regrets the choices she had made. Members of the group were divided over whether they thought they would be more fulfilled if they had the financial security to give up their out-of-home jobs while their children are young.

PHOTO,,Nancy Andrews CAPTION:Worker and parent Kathy Zeiger feels need to be a "perfect mother." Eric, 7, watches Michelle, 6, give gifts she made. CAPTION:[Andrea Simmons-Brooks] with [Kellen], 7, [Jordan], 2, and husband Maurice. CAPTION:[Mary Ferguson] with [Matthew Ferguson], 8. CAPTION:Robin Dulli with Zach, 10, and Kelly, 7.