Briefly: In a guest column in this week's Billboard magazine, Coral Gables anti-porn activist Jack Thompson writes: "No other magazine, newspaper or television network has covered the 2 Live Crew con-tro-ver-sy as well as Billboard ..." Nothing like insulting the entire media in one broad stroke. Is this guy a PR genius or what? ... Comeback kid David Cassidy, making the rounds on syndicated puff shows this week, compared himself to John Lennon, Elvis and Jimi Hendrix all in one breath (and that was just on Live With Regis and Kathie Lee). Paging George Michael. Your alter-ego has arrived ... MTV has turned Madonna's fabulous Music Video Awards "Vogue Minuette" performance into a video. Word is Madonna's rented gown was the very one worn by Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Liaisons. Also, you know that snapping noise made by those hand-held fans Madonna and her dancers kept opening and closing through the number? It was all "lip- synched" back stage the day before the big awards show. Talk about precise ... M.C. Hammer closes in on some new kind of chart record as his Please Hammer Don't Hurt `Em logs its 17th week at No. 1 atop Billboard's album chart. That's more than four months for an album that is predominantly a rehash of hits by others. Shouldn't this be sounding some kind of alarm in the industry? Is there such a dearth of product out there that retread hits are all we want to buy? Or is it just that our standards keep sinking lower and lower? In the same vein, Paula Abdul's Forever Your Girl logs its 116th week on the album chart -- two years and three months to be exact ... New, holiday-aimed releases soon to give these stalwarts competition include sets from Edie Brickell, Hall & Oates, Bobby McFerrin, The Cure (hits package), Teddy Pendergrass, Megadeth, Al B. Sure!, Traveling Wilburys and drum roll please ... back from the black hole - - Styx with Dennis Deyoung producing. Also from the whatever happened to dept.: Many of you have asked about former WSHE and WGTR radio guys Skip Herman and Jim McBean. Where did they go? What are they doing now?