Survivors have nursed their dying partners through debilitating illnesses, ranging from chronic diarrhea to dementia to pneumonia, wondering whether they, too, will get sick. Their lovers' families sometimes shut them out of the funerals. Landlords seek to evict them from their apartments. And in an effort to avoid the stigma attached to AIDS, the surviving lovers tell friends and coworkers that their partners died of cancer, or a common strain of pneumonia, but almost never that they had AIDS.

[Howard] said his lover, Jim, never developed Kaposi's sarcoma or pneumocystis pneumonia, opportunistic infections that often accompany AIDS. But blood tests did show that Jim had been exposed to the HTLV-III virus, which is thought to cause AIDS. Tests also showed that Jim's immune system was severely compromised. Jim developed speech problems. And after he entered St. Luke's Hospital in Man- hattan, doctors discovered a brain tumor and he subsequently died.

Newsday Photo By Alan Raia- [Kathleen Perry] counsels a survivor. Photo by Tom Kitts- A Brooklyn man who lost lover to AIDS watches tape of a special Christmas service.; AIDS SURVIVORS; Learning To Cope Alone