Survivors have nursed their dying partners through debilitating illnesses ranging from chronic diarrhea to dementia to pneumonia, wondering whether they, too, will get sick. Their lovers' families sometimes shut them out of the funerals. Landlords seek to evict them from their apartments. And, in an effort to avoid the stigma attached to AIDS, the surviving lovers tell friends and coworkers that their partners died of cancer, or a common strain of pneumonia, but almost never that they had AIDS.

The evidence of a death by AIDS is still apparent in the third-floor flat that [Gene] and [Bob] shared. On the coffee table are three plastic bottles con- taining vitamins B and C and a multi-vitamin supplement, prescribed by a physician who wants to ensure that Gene maintains his resistance. On one wall is a large painting entitled "Broken Dreams," which Gene painted as a memorial to his relationship with Bob. At its center is a flat-black arrow pointing at a bright yellow star.

[Howard] said his lover, Jim, never developed Kaposi's sarcoma or pneumocystis pneumonia, opportunistic infections that often accompany AIDS. But blood tests did show that Jim had been exposed to the HTLV3 virus, which is thought to cause AIDS. Tests also showed that Jim's immune system was severely compromised. Jim developed speech problems. And after he entered St. Luke's Hospital in Manhattan, doctors discovered a brain tumor and he subsequently died.