In his book "Hostage at the Table" (Jossey-Bass, $27.95), [George Kohlrieser] points to the moment in 1985 when Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev said he and President Ronald Reagan "stopped demonizing one another." Reagan was leaving the room after an angry exchange - but stopped and "in one moment switched his focus, his mental state, his emotion from anger to engagement. ... He then said calmly, 'This isn't working. May I call you Mikhail and will you call me Ron?' Gorbachev says that was the first step in shifting their relationship."

Stalemate. Not all conflicts can be solved, [Jeffrey Krivis] says, and "not everyone can live in harmony." There are occasions when you need to tell the other party that the conversation is going in circles, [Pat Sileo] says: You see things one way, he or she, another. When that happens, propose taking a time-out to think things over and decide if another meeting is needed.

1) www.photos.com Photo - Person snapping a pencil in half 2) Newsday Photo / Bruce Gilbert - [Eli Portnoy] runs Hireworkers.com for low income workers. 3) Newsday Photo / Dick Yarwood - Letting an angry person vent is a step toward cooling a hot situation, says human resources veteran Pat Sileo. 4) PHOTO - [Donald Trump] doesn't mince words with his classic line in NBC's "The Apprentice": "You're fired." 5) COVER ILLUSTRATION BY WILLIAM L. BROWN - A woman facing a group of angry people; Workplace hostility. Some days it's hard to avoid - so consider these strategies for survival. COVER ILLUSTRATION BY WILLIAM L. BROWN - A woman facing a group of angry people