The partner who seeks a divorce is generally the one whose life improves, [Judith Wallerstein] reported. About two of every three people who initiated the divorce were happier 10 years later. "So these people were right in seeking a divorce," said Wallerstein, executive director of the Center for the Family in Transition in Corte Madera, Calif. "But by the same token, those who opposed the divorce were also right. Ten years later, they were worse off."

Wallerstein's study found that "a whole group of girls are being derailed" by divorce. As they progressed into adolescence and adulthood, these girls became very anxious. They had difficulty establishing and keeping relationships with men. They expressed a "conscious fear of betrayal, which they connected directly with their parents' divorce," she reports. "We're not finding that degree of anxiety among the young men."

Girls also may fare differently from boys when their parents remarry. Recent studies by Temple University psychologist Eulalee Brand of 60 so-called "blended families" suggests some intriguing differences between stepdaughters and stepsons. Unlike intact families and families with a stepfather, tensions arose between stepdaughters and stepmothers as marital satisfaction increased between the remarried couple. When a stepdaughter lived with her father and stepmother, relations worsened when the daughter saw her biological mother often. Self-esteem also dropped for the daughter. In contrast, stepdaughters get better treatment from their stepfathers when their biological fathers visit them frequently, Brand found. There was no such association for boys.