Ancient Man explained the weather through ancient myths, which were creative and profound. Although weird. For example, lightning was supposed to come from this god named Zeus. Whenever Zeus (or Jupiter, as he started calling himself because Ancient Man kept mispronouncing "Zeus") got annoyed at what we humans were up to down below, he would chuck some lightning bolts at us.

According to the myths, Zeus got his lighting bolts manufactured by an assistant god named Hephaestus. (Who started calling himself Vulcan, because Ancient Man got really big laughs when he tried to pronounce "Hephaestus.") Now, of course, we realize this isn't true. Because of modern science, we know that lightning is static electricity, which Zeus produced by scuffing his feet as he walked across his carpet.

These ancients also came up with a passel of other weather- related gods, goddesses and goddettes -- Apollo, god of the sun; Persephone, goddess of spring; Obscuritie, goddess of fog; Chillius, god of cold fronts; Dampne, goddess of steady drizzle; Icyrodes, god of freezing rain; Buffaloes, god of lake-effect snowstorms; Wetarmpites, god of August humidity; Dentinus, god of hail the size of golf balls; and Idiotes, god of people who go around in midsummer asking, "Hot enough for you?" And many others, some of whom I might not even have made up. I think.