On my TV show Thursday night, Fergie talked of how hard it is to be a royal and denied that she had written to the queen asking forgiveness for her rambunctious behavior. "How can I beg to go back to a family I don't want to go back to?" she said.

On her problems with the royal family, Prince Andrew's ex told me: "It's not (Queen Elizabeth) at all. She's a lovely lady. But the courtiers think I'm a rebel without a cause . . . the `Gray Men' -- they don't like me. I don't toe the party line." She thinks those Gray Men are out to get her and confesses to being "totally" paranoid about that.

She says she's not allowed "too close" to Princes William and Harry, children of her late friend Princess Diana. As for Prince Charles: "I'm not sure he likes me."